Your not going to get over 300HP at the wheels with either list. Check this out...this is some serious modding with some serious $$ added to it to achieve 268HP http://www.intense-racing.com/8ball.shtml. Then see what was needed to break the 300HP mark at the wheels.

I was thinking 300 crank horsepower (my mistake)

Wow thats so encouraging seein a bonnie pushing upwards of 400+ horses. Just goes to sho how much potential the 3800 has. If you have deep enough pockets to get it there.

Can anyone throw a rough number on hp gain.....

To get 300 at the wheels you have a ways to go. If your talking about 300 at the crank. That you will get. What you have on your list will make your car quick. You may want to consider a free flow cat and 3" down pipe. The cam will give you a lot more then the rockers

Now if I get a cam I have to get the pcm tuned for a cam correct?

Is the xp cam the best for a daily driven car?

Is having over 300 at the crank good or should I reach for higher?

Being over the 400 mark myself, allow me to try and help you.

My suggestions are based on your desire to get a cam. Get the vehicle up to par or better on all maintenance items. struts, shocks, brakes etc. Then beef up the transmission, power must be transmitted.

From there ask millions of questions on many forums and learn about the various mods and decide which would be good for you. I've found and installed many S1X and XP cams, they are relatively equal in the way they will both max out a stock set of heads and perform.

PCM wise you will require the P0300 code to be removed as both cams set the multilple misfire P0300 code. Beyond that a good tune is in order. You can run on the stock programming, you can run on a canned off the shelf tune from a vendor, but the best tune and power comes from a custom tune that was done on your car, for your car. This requires hours of tuning and yields the best results.

At this point, the only thing I haven't replaced, rebuilt or touched on a car is the connecting rod bearings and main bearings. If someone goes that far they should have a machine shop line bore or check all pistons etc..then at that point the cost to have them assemble would be low in comparison to the rest of the machine work.

For someone to give you an HP gain per part is tough as each car behaves a little differently. Typically the first pulley drop gives you about 20hp and after that it'* 5-10hp per drop. Exhaust merely allows better flow which in turn will give the motor the ability to create more power. I notice you mention flowmaster 40'*, I'm still on the stock muffler and finally am starting to max out the flow. It took a bit though.

Heads
1.9 rockers
S1X cam
Headers
Gen V SC with 2.9" pulley
Northstar TB with 4" FWI

Learning the mods you want and where you'd like to be is the first step. Step #2 is money. Ripping the tires free on dry pavement from 35-40mph and going up in smoke is an amazing feeling though.

At the very least you will want to have the p0300 code removed or you will get SES lights all the time. Yes, that cam is fine for a daily driver.

Holy crap bill your pullin 400 plus horse power. Thats freakin awesome.

Thank you for all your help
That is why I came up with a list that I really liked and was going to give me a good performance increase. I just wanted everyone'* opinion on my list and then eventually tweak and see how things go with it.
Last thing, I was going to do all this upgrade at once (install at part test it and move on to the next) and see how things go is that a good idea or should I buy a part install it and wait a few weeks and then install another one?

Cold air intake
180* thermostat --> could i run a 160 thermostat?
3.4" pulley
colder spark plugs
PCM upgrade
Shift kit ---> necessary?
Series 40 mufflers
Headers
XP CAM w/gaskets