You're An EXTREME Redneck When
#1
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You're An EXTREME Redneck When
1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife'* hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your
spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there'* a law
against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Bonus
An East Texas couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They
went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The
doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do
this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one
out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican,
and they didn't want a Mexican Baby because neither of them could
speak Spanish.
front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife'* hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your
spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there'* a law
against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Bonus
An East Texas couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They
went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The
doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do
this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one
out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican,
and they didn't want a Mexican Baby because neither of them could
speak Spanish.
#3
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Certified Car Nut
Re: You're An EXTREME Redneck When
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how much gas is in it.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
Two catagories I can never get enuff jokes of, ...rednecks and blondes.........Hope the pontiac lady aint around............ back to the RACE!
#4
Senior Member
Posts like a Camaro
Re: You're An EXTREME Redneck When
Originally Posted by gxp rules
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on
how much gas is in it.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
Two catagories I can never get enuff jokes of, ...rednecks and blondes.........Hope the pontiac lady aint around............ back to the RACE!
He'* the redneck, she is the blonde J/K PMom and Dad, y'all know that already though
#5
Senior Member
Posts like a Camaro
Re: You're An EXTREME Redneck When
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
#7
Administratus Emeritus
Certified Car Nut
i knew they were married, after I wrote blonde, I thought of a blonde post the didnt float well, but I left it....did I mention #6....I'm not all here, but most of the parts were found, This is about redneck jokes, more redneck jokes please. Please to meet ya P.Mom and Dad
#8
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Re: You're An EXTREME Redneck When
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
watch this."
I've seen this list several times, but it'* always good for a giggle!
#9
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I think another might be:
If the Tornado sirens are going off and you're outside with an open beverage saying "Where is that sumbitch?!" instead of taking shelter.
that one was very relevant last night, I myself acted out that very role
If the Tornado sirens are going off and you're outside with an open beverage saying "Where is that sumbitch?!" instead of taking shelter.
that one was very relevant last night, I myself acted out that very role
#10
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Re: You're An EXTREME Redneck When
Originally Posted by PontiacDad
8. Your wife'* hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.