WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT
This was written by a guy... it'* pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it
(Girls -- Have a sense of humor!)


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That'* fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let'* go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

LOL!!!!!!! that was hilarious, thanks for sharing.

Heh, here come the REPOST!police.

http://www.bonnevilleclub.com/forum/...ic.php?t=42397

just kidding

LMAO!!

I've seen that one before...can't remember where...uhm, I think it was in an email at home. I made the mistake of thinking my wife would think it was funny... :?

I guess I'll never learn.

I would LOVE to do that to some deserving female!!!

Good one Leslie even if it IS a repost

sounds like a typical disfuncinital marrige..

but that made my day.

That is the funniest thing I have seen in some time.
Thanks for the laugh.

Well atleast it'* not a repost from the same day this time This one is atleast 2 years old

I was just kidding :(

But it is still funny

<Deletes the email he almost sent>
Thanks for inserting the common sense there Lash! LOL