Thanks for the ideas guys, i had a free afternoon and i tore off as much as i could. the noise isnt a vacuum leak, its actually coming from the motor itself. with the air box off i was able to trigger the problem and the noise was extremely loud, like having to yell to my buddy right next to me over the noise loud. a further inspection of various sensors lead me to a broken tab and a slightly torn gasket on my MAP sensor. the broken tab is on the four pronged retainer for the PCV valve that holds the MAP sensor in place. the gasket is on the tube running out of the bottom of the MAP sensor into the housing for the PCV valve below. the new find raises a couple new questions and an over all recap of the issue

Warm or cold when the motor is started WITH the mass airflow sensor connected the car will start then the engine will:

stumble and sputter
surge from 500-1500 rpm
charge gauge drops to top edge of the low charge red zone
sucks air through the throttle body very loudly
Stall
not restart

with the mass airflow sensor DISCONNECTED the engine:

Start normally
stumble and sputter
surge from 500-1500 rpm - sometimes 2000 rpm
charge gauge drops to top edge of the low charge red zone
sucks air through the throttle body very loudly

then one of the next two happen:

The problem goes away and runs fine for a while
or
the car stalls
Starts fine afterwords

along with all of this the car gets horrible fuel mileage

now my questions are

1. has this happened to anyone else? if so how do you fix it? please god this sucks and im too broke to take it to a mechanic
2. are the gaskets on the MAP sensor replaceable? where would i score one? same with the PCV housing.
3. Does this sound like symptoms of some type of sensor malfunction?

thanks for your help and all your time, have a great day!